When people say they want to lose weight, often the goal is to look attractive or sexy.
I distinctly remember after giving birth to my son 4 years ago. The first time that I stood up from my hospital bed to use the restroom, I looked down at my body expecting all the belly to be gone. I mean – the baby was out – surely my belly would be flat again. If you’ve had a child before, you know what surprise I was in for! I was crushed.
Over the next 6 months or so I did lose the weight, but I didn’t right away feel “great” in my skin. I felt overly critical. I never considered that my body did something sacred. I brought life into the world; how is that not sacred?
The changing point for me was when someone mentioned that motherhood is the “greatest sacrifice” that we can make.
It was then that I realized how profound the entire experience was: the decision to have a baby; the feeling of growing to accommodate a new life form and his needs; the pain of birth. It was a sacrifice and I did it! And I did a fine job of it, too.
My body took me through this transformation and she is just fine now. Nothing is broken or bad or needs fixing.
When we appreciate our bodies the way they are now at our current weight, we open the door to enjoying our bodies more. If you woke up magically with your ideal body, it would not necessarily mean that you would feel any more sexy or enjoy your sex life any more. Sexiness starts BEFORE the weight loss; the more enjoyment in our bodies we experience, the more weight we lose!
When a woman loves her body, that natural radiance makes her beautiful regardless of her weight. Repeat after me: “the scale is not a measure of my worth.”
Try this: approach your body as if she was a best friend. I don’t think anybody would talk to their best friend like this: “girl, you look terrible! When are you going to go on a diet or something?” I know if it was my best friend, I wouldn’t say anything because I think she’s just perfect and lovely all the time. If I was concerned about her health, I may just drop some hints about nutrition or offer to cook her dinner.
To have a real, authentic heart-to-heart with yourself about weight gain, try the “friend approach.”
“Hey, sweetheart. I have noticed that you look a little puffy lately. What’s going on? Are you stressed out? How is work going? How is your husband doing? What have you been up to lately?”
Approaching from the angle of love and compassion for your body will give you
- better insight as to what the real problem is stemming from
- what her needs are that are not getting met
- a loving relationship: you make her happy by listening and she makes you happy by being beautiful and radiant.
Now I want to challenge YOU, the reader, to try this method and tell me what insights you gain from communicating with your body in a new way. What needs do you have that are not being met? And how can you start to meet those needs?