I have fallen madly, passionately, head-over-heels in love with …
I think we have a tendency to brush off the idea, “yeah, I love myself. Anyway, now back to the important things I was doing…”
But if you think about what it means to be in love and how you want to be loved, it can take on a whole new dimension.
WHAT WE WANT
In a relationship, we want to be told we’re beautiful, and have the person really, truly mean it (not like, “you’d be more beautiful IF…”). We want to have our needs met on demand: whether that’s a need for a jacket when it’s cold outside or a glass of water when we’re thirsty. We want our ideas listened to and thought about in a considerate way. We want to not be rushed – ever.
Why can’t we do this for ourselves? If we’re not doing that, why not?
I think at some level, we all love ourselves. I never thought to myself, “I don’t like / love myself.” But a good relationship – or even better than that – a great relationship celebrates that love, or you could call it a romance even to a higher degree.
When you’re in a long-term relationship with someone (like yourself), you tend to start taking the love for granted. “Of course I love myself, why wouldn’t I?” But I like the idea of rekindling the self-love / romance for yourself.
Being self-critical is the antagonist of self-love.
No-one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is always criticizing them. It’s not healthy.
Think of it like this: sure, you’ve made mistakes in the past, but instead of criticising, how about acknowledging where you’ve let yourself down in the past and moving on.
Resolving to do better for yourself in the future.
That’s what a good partner / lover would do, right?
AND THE OTHER “C-WORD”
It’s futile to compare yourself to anyone else because we’re all at different stages of our journey. You can’t compare yourself when you’re at the starting gate to someone who has been doing it – learning and struggling – for many more years than you.
Self-love is not the same as being arrogant. (OMG – when I proofread this, I almost forgot to type the “not” in the last sentence. That would have made for a very confusing article!) Arrogance is not a form of love, but the belief that you’re better than someone else. It’s a type of comparison. When you truly love yourself, you can respect others’ journey to their own form of self-love.